just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize