She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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