there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Need sex. Gaining weight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize