Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
