i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
