shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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