Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
3 2 1 whiskey
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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