I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
