Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
