I wannas sexs uuuuu
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
