omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
