we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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