Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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