he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
