so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
