Where is the hickey?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize