big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
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