there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
