she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
