and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
