He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
