Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
