so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
