There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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