when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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