My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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