So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
