She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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