just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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