Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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