The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
