Don't make out with my wife yet
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
