I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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