at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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