We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
