Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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