you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize