I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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