he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize