Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
sarcasm needs its own font
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
