but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Come see our sink grown plant.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
