That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
