first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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