How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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