You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
