Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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