Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize