Joe is yelling at the trees again.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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