she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
