Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize