I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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