My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
