i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This house was built for laser tag.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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