I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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