how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize