a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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