; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Swine flu is the new snow day.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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