You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
