so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
