If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
