people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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