I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
