Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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