you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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