Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize