I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
