Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
