I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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