But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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