I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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