Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
