I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
