Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
