bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
