Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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