somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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