i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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