I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
