We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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