What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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