True but thats because hes a fetus.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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