This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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