Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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