That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
