to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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