Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize