I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
