we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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